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To admit you need help is a good thing

So many couples leave seeking help until it's almost too late. Frequently many don't want to admit to each other that they don't have the answers. We believe that we should be able to resolve our issues ourselves. This is all well and good if you can.  But what happens if you don't have the tools to do so?  Attempting to solve your problems from the wrong place can often make matters worse. On Friday this week there was an article in the Daily Telegraph headed "Michelle is right, we all … [Read more...]

What is your inner voice telling you?

Your inner voice has a powerful effect on how you live your life. For some people it is that part of them which is telling them they are a failure or not good enough, or mostly wrong.   Maybe that part which says "I am who I am and I can't change." For them it can be so powerful they become stuck and unable to see a way out. To avoid action it tells them: they must be loved 'warts and all'. This inner voice is harsh.  Harsher than you would speak to any friend, acquaintance, … [Read more...]

Be the one to take action

Many of the people who come to me for help believe that they are doing 'everything right' and it's their partner who has to change.  I am even told - rather too frequently - that they are prepared to change and take action,  but only if their partner changes first! So now they have put a condition on making their relationship work. Don't get me wrong - in some cases this may well need to happen.  However, and it is a big However, by putting conditions on your own behaviour you are not … [Read more...]

Be Kind to your Partner

Today I want to ask you this question: "Are you being kind to your Partner?".  I am sure when you both met you were wonderfully kind to your partner.  You loved and cherished those moments you had together; you listened to their life stories; you learnt about each other. If you are surfing my website then my guess is things aren't so good these days.  Something has gone wrong. It is easy to be kind to our partner when everything is going well.  It is a different matter when you feel you … [Read more...]

Who is most important in your relationship?

Understanding who is most important in your relationship is key to a successful one.  I know this seems obvious but believe me so many couples lose sight of this. When you both met you were each focused on making each other happy.  You listened, you learnt and you acted in their best interests to the best of your ability. Over time other things can easily take up your time and your focus can shift.  Day-by-day you focus on other areas of your life as you believe your relationship is safe … [Read more...]