Build a better story

Many couples I see in my sessions have created stories for themselves about each other which frequently are not true.  One, or both of them have decided what the other’s motives are.  What they are thinking. What they are feeling.

So how do you know if your story is true?  Unless you are living in the other person’s head you can’t.

Your partner may not know either.  They know they are in pain. They want to make you aware of their pain.  They probably also want the pain to go away.


Men and women communicate differently.  They respond differently to situations.  If you knew how to understand your partner’s communication and underlying request for understanding and help then you could:

Build a better story

Now, rather than creating your own story of what is happening you will be better placed to approach the problem as a solver rather than a reactor.

By helping couples understand each other’s requests for help, by using their unique communication styles, couples learn how to help each other rather than attack and blame.

Responsibility is a lovely word.  Becoming responsible for the way you Respond and discovering new ways to do so, opens the door to a different future than the one you currently believe.

Your story can be a great one or a bad one.  It’s your choice.  My suggestion today is before writing too many chapters make sure your story is one based on real knowledge.