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Are you exhausted by your relationship?

So often couples end up in crisis as they have exhausted themselves going over and over the symptoms of their unique issues rather than learning and understanding the deeper causes of their problems. They continue to use the same behaviours and methods of communication which got them into the crisis in the first place, with the result that nothing changes. Having tired themselves out they look for the reason they're exhausted and decide the relationship is wrong and cannot be fixed.  After … [Read more...]

If your marriage is in crisis then acknowledge it and take action

The Emotional Stages you need to Experience as you invest in your Marriage and resolve your Marriage Crisis Just to be clear before I get into this post I refer throughout to marriage crisis.  I do this to avoid making each statement too long-winded or confusing.  These stages equally apply to anyone in a relationship crisis whether you are married or not. It is up to you how quickly you take these steps.  I know for most people it takes courage.  People can feel daunted, lost and a bit … [Read more...]

Right now focus on being kind

Many couples will be struggling right now.  The current lockdown is pushing couples into more contact than they have been used to and for some, this is proving difficult.  It can be hard to focus on being kind when your partner is doing the opposite. Here are some tips to help you right now to focus on being kind. What You Can Do Focus Focus on your partner's strengths and help and support them where they are not so good. Never try to make your partner behave like you.  Each of us is a … [Read more...]

What can you bring to your relationship right now?

In this current worldwide crisis, it is so easy to focus on what you are missing out on, to feel constrained or cross. Some of you will feel anxious.  Some of you will be working to help others and won't have time to focus on themselves. What can you bring to your relationship right now? If you are focusing on yourself I would like to ask yourself "What am I gaining by doing so?" By doing this are you looking for someone else to solve your issues?  Today I want you to consider changing … [Read more...]

Are you killing your relationship without realising it?

When things start to go wrong in a relationship one or other of you can easily try to control the situation.  Love is NOT about control. The problem is when we feel out of control our natural instinct is to attempt to regain that control.  Why?  To feel safe. The need to feel safe is a massive driving force.  It's in our 'blood'.  We have always had that force.  It's the 'flight or fight' driver that keeps us alive. This issue is it can trigger when there is no need. Rather than take … [Read more...]