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Are your behaviours designed to attract your partner?

My question to you today is are you creating behaviours within you which will attract your partner?

You see when you first meet you are!  In the beginning, you are in ‘marketing mode’.  You want your partner to be attracted to you and so you create behaviours which will attract.

You fall in love and believe that now nothing can possibly go wrong.  Well, actually you are wrong.

Life can get in the way and behaviours can easily change

What do I mean by life?

  • Jobs
  • Hobbies
  • Children
  • Parents
  • Life-changing events

One or more of these can take over and become your focus.  Now one or both of you feel you are not getting what you want or need from the other.

You don’t feel special.  You can feel bullied, controlled, nagged, inferior…..  the list goes on.

Now you BLAME

You blame your partner for how you feel and you begin to store resentments against them.  You resent them for how you feel.  Both of you can resort to criticism.

Criticism DOES NOT work

I have yet to meet anyone who feels more love for someone who continually criticises them.  Criticism is incredibly destructive.

It stops all emotional growth and leaves you both stuck.  Stuck in a destructive pattern of behaviour.

You want to be close but you find yourself repelling each other

Don’t cling to your current patterns of behaviour

If you cling to this behaviour pattern, be it barbed comments, anger, justification, blame or criticism you will remain stuck.

You have failed to attract.  You are also failing yourself as now you aren’t being yourself.  The kind, loving, decent person you know in your heart you are.   You have disconnected from each other.

Note:  A bad behaviour isn’t a bad behaviour for its own sake.  Frequently it’s there as a cry for help.

If left undealt with this will consume you both.  The route out seems impossible.

The route out is get help to understand your behaviours

Behaviours need to be understood in an environment which is non-judgemental and safe.  Where you can learn what you’re doing to each other and why.

From this place, you open yourself up to more choices.  The choices which are not only right for you but for your relationship.

If this resonates with you then get help now and get in contact with me.  Your window of opportunity maybe fairly small.  Don’t let it slip by.