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Are you telling yourself a negative story?

It is very easy to tell yourself a negative story. We all do it by the way, so if you are doing this you may be relieved to know you are not alone by any means.

Perhaps someone has lied to you or failed you in some way or other and you’ve decided that this is so unacceptable that this outweighs all the good in that person.  If this individual is someone close to you – for instance your partner –  then you can decide you no longer trust them and once you’ve decided that it becomes incredibly easy to find other reasons not to trust them.

You keep adding to the list.  The list gets longer and longer until you stop finding any good in that person at all.  Or you feel you’re not worthy of respect or their love because they’re doing this to you on purpose.

It could be that they failed to listen to you on a particular occasion.  You then focus on all the other times they failed to listen to you or ignored you and you start creating your list of feeling ignored or rejected…….

We are all be susceptible to creating a belief around what we’ve experienced.  This becomes our version of the truth.  We start digging our own hole.

At this point it’s very easy to decide that we are not good enough to be listened to, told the truth, to be included……

This is a route to depression or, at best, feeling very miserable.

At this point I’m not going to say stop!  That would be trite and not the answer.  I know it’s very hard just to stop doing something.

What I’d like you to do is to assume that whatever’s happened, your partner’s intentions were not to harm or hurt you.

Maybe they lied because it wasn’t something they were proud of doing and didn’t want to diminish their value in your eyes.  I don’t condone lying – ever  – but I’ve yet to meet someone who’s never lied.  Have you?  We’ve all lied about something at some point in our lives!

Maybe they ignored you because their mind was focussed on a problem or they were just plain tired, or they felt they weren’t worthy of you, or they didn’t know how to communicate their problem.

What I’d like you to think about is how you could put yourself if their shoes and wonder why they did what they did – but with a positive intent.

If you’re feeling rejected or ignored. Have you ever ignored them?  If so when and why?  I don’t want this to turn into a tit-for-tat moment.  You can be better than that!

Remember the meaning you give things is created by you and you alone.

If you’d like to learn more about how to turn your meanings around and so give yourself a life which you want then please get in touch.

You will be amazed at what fun it can be to learn how to give new meanings to the things life throws at us all and by understanding why you do what you do you can then create new ways of dealing with issues in the future.